Meh.

So every morning when I wake up, for the past two weeks, the first thing on my mind is how much I miss this girl. Followed quickly by the second thought of “too bad she never wants to talk to you again.” Its pretty lame, its like waking up in the middle of a rollercoaster drop. My stomach and my heart spend the first ten minutes of the day in my throat. After that though, Im usually ok. I just need to find a way to control my unconscious thoughts lol.

I think a good first step would be to start blogging about anyone other than the person I want to. So, here it goes. I really dont understand the girls here in Rancho. Its like everyone of them that turned 21 here, is just stuck here. And not even stuck here in the sense of the present, I mean stuck physically here in Rancho, but mentally they are still high school seniors. I had no idea that people’s 6 year old beef could still have such an influence over peoples lives. I mean honestly at this point who gives a fuck if she made out with that guy at your freshman homecoming!?! I feel like I am an adult now more or less, but all of these crazy bitches are making me question if maybe I have it wrong.

But no. I refuse to believe that. I just need to go to college. where there are smart girls who are interested in moving forward and see the world as a larger place than the few dozen miles that make up their hometown. I didn’t realize until recently that intellectually I was with a different caliber of girl, and I guess it kind of spoiled me. I don’t really like it when I talk to girls and they say shit like “Wow I want to be think like you when I grow up.” WERE THE SAME AGE BITCH!! Ughh its sooo weak. 

Well, my dog just threw up lol, time to go clean that shit, then its time to get a korean visitor fucked up the way only us in California know how to do it haha, it should be a good fucking day:)