How good can I be? How far can I actually go before I decide to settle or am worn down? I feel like I have an endless well of ambition and drive that is serving no purpose at the moment, and its threatening to make my heart explode. I realized that for so long I was just kind of coasting, letting other people do everything for me because it was what they wanted and it was easier to just agree with that rather than just figuring it out for myself. And thats my fault.

Now that I have recognized that, I feel like there is a world of endless possibilties in front of me, and I dont have to worry about anyone but me and my success is dependent solely on me. Its scary, but honestly, I feel more comfortable and more importantly HAPPY embracing this new reality. Am I sad that I am single? Sometimes, but I am much happier overall. Ive been running, and Im down to 5min 45sec on my mile, which is exciting lol. I feel good, and all I have ahead of me are more things to keep me occupied. Ill be doing 12 hr days at angels stadium for like a week straight followed by 4 days off, which is going to be nice for summer session. I figure Ill just work the marathon, and then on my time off ill do my work, and start surfing again (craigslist is awesome new board and wetsuit for $160!). It sounds like a great plan: work, school, surf, save, travel in that order.

So, thank god the waiting is finally over! Im finally getting to where I ultimately want to be, and I am doing it the way I want to do it.